wlws:
someone: *genuinely cares about my self-destructive ass*
me:
slimiest:
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”
imlorelai:
me after one glass of wine: everything i say and do is iconic
fluffmaster5000:
unclefather:
humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we suck the cum out of peoples dicks like a gogurt. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars
we suck the what out of what like what now
lyjerria:
I’m literally doing my best but I’m not gonna beg anyone to understand that
thehatlessdragon:
lesbianzoidberg:
birchwitch:
incrediblescenery:
themisadventuresofnora:
Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets
“Just Because I’m In The Kitchen Doesn’t Mean I’m Getting You a Snack” - Vol 2 in the series
“I Know You Already Got One From the Other Human” - Vol. 3
“Looking At Me Like That Doesn’t Change Your Dinnertime” - Vol 4
“I Caved” - the thrilling conclusion
2feet:
for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada
brothernatures:
my 3rd eye has bags under it
avrege:
linksgrunt:
ALCOHOL????
As in…..not milk??????
Can’t wait to fight Ganon while I’m drunk and only in my underwear
oceanic-daisy:
About me
